The great fairy light massacre

Janek and I arrived at The Homestead on Friday after driving two and a half hours, past two accidents and hence two detours, on what should have been an hour’s drive at the most. As neither the Christmas tree nor the fairly lights were up yet, it was decided that Janek, Sister and I would do it the next day.

We opened the box full of decorations to discover, to my total horror, half a set of fairy lights. At first I saw the set and thought “That’s odd, this is a 150 light set, and it looks like it only has twenty lights.” Turns out there were in fact only twenty lights on it. I ventured into the garage to find the second set and found, to my absolute horror, the remaining 130 lights. Upon further inspection, I found each half of the set had its wires ripped apart, the bare copper wires unsheathed. I nearly cried. Someone had wrenched the poor, innocent set of fairy lights so hard that it had snapped in half. Who would do such a heartless thing? Massacre such a beautiful creature, one that only brought happiness and light to the world?

The mystery will probably never be solved.

This is why I love my father...

From: Dan
To: Dad
Time: 7:15 PM
Message: I have a serious question for you. Would rather talk in person but as i'm on a train can't do that. But then i'm not good with confrontation so maybe its better this way. Does it bother you and mum that j stays the night with me at home? Be honest.

From: Dad
To: Dan
Time: 7:19 PM
Message: It does not bother me one bit...want me to ask mum privately.. Love you...dad

From: Dan
To: Dad
Time: 7:21 PM
Message: Yes please. Sister said to me last time that j and i "showing affection" makes her uncomfortable. I still had a fever at the time so i said "i'll see what i can do" but frankly i don't know what to do. We held hands and that's it. Anyway yes can u see what mum says. Might be an idea to SUBTLY warm sim that he'll be staying on friday night. Thanks dad i love you too.

From: Dad
To: Dan
Time: 9:56 PM
Message: Mum has no problem either...maybe just cool the "affection" in front of Sister.... :-)

From: Dan
To: Dad
Time: 10:09 PM
Message: Well i'm glad you and mum are cool with it. The thing is that as i say we were quietly holding hands during the movie not fucking no the coffee table. I don't see why i cant hold a simple hand in my own home. I'd like to know why she feels uncomfortable exactly but as i said i hate confrontation.

From: Dan
To: Dad
Time: 11:08 PM
Message: Dad i'm not tryig to be difficult, like i said i don't really know what to do. Everyone has conflicting advice. Anyway i'm a little stoned so should probably finish this discussion later. Good night, love you. X

From: Dad
To: Dan
Time: 11:13 PM
Message: Ok....chill now and we can tail later....you should take my advice when here...anyway, go get some munchies :-)

From: Dan
To: Dad
Time: 11:15 PM
Message: I already walked to shops for caramelo choc :) the only prob is that "tone down" is really subjective. So we're going to have to define it. I need to talk to sister during the week... And i really don't want to. Anyway i'll deal with it later. X

Post #400

With the end of year approaching, my life has been very much all about work so in the small amount of time off from thinking about it, all I’ve wanted to do is curl up in bed and eat chocolate (with or without Janek’s presence). But now that work is over for the year, I can begin to sit down and write about a few things I’ve been meaning to mention.

The first, and most important, is the passage of our six month “anniversary” on 6 December (though I hate referring to the date in this way, since the word anniversary means “once a year” and therefore an anniversary every month is totally illogical).

The festivities spanned the entire weekend. On Friday night, after work, we had a quick dinner in at a pub in Newtown (after the food poisoning, there will definitely be no Thai on the menu for quite some time) before a farewell for a friend of ours who is going back to Lebanon for Christmas. We actually ended up bumping into my step-cousin and his girlfriend. When I introduced Janek as my boyfriend, the step-cousin said “Oh you’ve come out, congratulations man”. I pointed out that I’ve been out to the Family-at-Large for a year now, ever since the Facebook Stunt.

Janek stayed at my place that night, I don’t think we’ll go there though.

On Saturday we slept in. This itself was cause for celebration also. It felt so luxurious, sleeping in with him on a lazy Saturday morning. He had to go back home for a few hours during the day, mostly to make an appearance at home before his family sent out a search party or made snide remarks about the need for change of address cards. He returned later and took me to a movie. The movie was American Teen, it was ok, quite funny. It turns out the film is in fact a documentary, though we had it pegged as a mockumentary. It's a little scary that it seemed so ridiculous that we thought it wasn't real when in fact it is. We had dinner afterwards, before returning to my place, where Janek again stayed the night.

On Sunday we spent the day together, sleeping in again, and in the afternoon went to a Christmas Shindig at a friend’s place with a bunch of Janek’s friends (I don’t know if I can claim them as my friends yet, but they’re a great bunch of people nonetheless).

The last six months have been amazing. I’m not the kind of person who can easily give compliments in person; I end up feeling a little embarrassed for the person to be honest, so I often reserve my praise for email, text message or, on the rare occasion, a blog post. I don’t like confrontation, perhaps that has something to do with it. When we got together, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t gush on and on about Janek on this blog, or anywhere else really, because having been the recipient of such gushing about a third party at various points in my life, I know how irritating and sometimes frankly sickening it can be.

BUT. That said, he really is the most amazing guy, and I feel really lucky to be able to claim him as mine. He’d do anything for me, The Great Unpleasant Episode proved that when he stayed by my side in hospital all day and then drove me home to my parents. He’s gorgeous. He’s sweet, generous, kind, caring, loving, and any number of other fluffy-and-pink adjectives.

That should do us now on the gratuitous compliment front, I think. Until one year perhaps.

So this is love.

Affection

Immediately after The Unpleasant Experience of Food Poisoning, Janek drove me up to Mum & Dad’s place to rest and recuperate. Despite the fact that it was coming from both ends, that I still had a fever the next day, and that I felt like death warmed up (slowly), Mum was still very pleased that I had come up for a little visit.

Anyway, on Monday as I lay on the lounge, totally zapped of energy from not eating (due to vomiting still) and not keeping down what I could eat (from the other thing), I asked Sister if she’d like to watch a TV show or two on DVD with me. We agreed on a show, she put the disk in and it loaded up. As we sat watching the main menu, I looked at her to indicate she should click “play all”. She placed the remote on the coffee table, looked me in the eye and spoke: “Um, before we do, and I don’t want to open a can of worms, but I want to talk to you about Janek.”

I was so not in the mood for this. I was still a little feverish, and totally not up for a theological battle with her. “Uh, ok...” I said at length. “Well it’s not him personally,” she hastened to add, “it’s just, well, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t show affection to each other in my presence. It makes me uncomfortable.” What the fuck!? “Ugh, Sister,” I groaned. “Well I don’t think it’s unreasonable,” she said, “it just makes me uncomfortable.” At this point I gave up, I knew there was no point fighting with her in my present condition so I narrowed my eyes, and in a tone of voice that would make even a hardened drama queen weep said, “Whatever, Sister, I’ll see what I can do. Put the fucking show on.” And that was that.

If I had been a little stronger I would have asked her exactly what it was we’d done that had made her so uncomfortable; was it the quiet hand-holding while watching TV with my parents last night (who were also hand-in-hand I should add)? Was it the way we hugged in the hallway after I had just emptied my bowels for the fifth time that night? Was it the chaste kiss on the lips (no tongue) that we shared as he was leaving? The irony is that unlike other times we’ve stayed at my parents’ place together, there was no sex whatsoever happening.

I spoke to Mum about it, and asked her if Sister had ever said anything to her about Janek and I. She said no and I told her what had been said earlier in the day. “Oh,” Mum said, “That’s a tricky one. I don’t know what to advise on this one.” “Yeh well I don’t know what to do!” I said. “I mean it’s not like we were fucking on the coffee table in front of her!” “Well if you want to be crude about it, I suppose not...” she said with a half smile on her face.

So. Sister thinks that I’ve agreed to her ridiculous mandate, and I think she’s dreaming. If I get a chance I’m going to ask her exactly what it is that makes her uncomfortable about Janek and I (apart from the simple fact of his existence at my side). See, the thing is that I recognise that she shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable in her own house, but she has to recognise that I will not be made to feel that my relationship with my boyfriend is inferior in my own house either.

So what now?

Prop 8, the fallout

Janek sent me the link the video below, an anti-prop8 video (Prop 8 - The Musical) with an all star cast including John C Riley, Margaret Cho, Alison Janney, Kathy Najimy, Neil Patrick Harris and Jack Black (as Jesus).

This one is also amusing: Protect Marriage, Protect Children, Prohibit Divorce.

I have a lot of half finished posts that I'll be uploading in the next few days; hopefully now that I am no longer food-poisoned, exam-stressed or holiday-bound, I can write a little more reguarly.