Me: Hello, my darling, how are you enjoying the heater here?
The Midnight Cat: Could be warmer. Why?
Me: Well it’s getting late and I need to get some sleep soon.
The Midnight Cat: How does that concern me?
Me: Well, my love, you know what happens when I go to bed.
The Midnight Cat:… [silence] …
Me: So, as I was saying—
At this point The Midnight Cat looked into my eyes, balled up her front right paw, and punched me in the forehead.
Me: Oy! What the fuck was that for?
The Midnight Cat: I know what you were about to say. You were going to say ,“When it’s time for me to go to bed, I put you outside. You know that. Remember?”
Me: How did you know that!?
The Midnight Cat: I’m a cat; I know all.
Me: Yes, you do.
The Midnight Cat: … [purr] …
Me: That’s more like it. Now, as I was saying. It’s getting late and—
At this point she swiped her paw in front of my face, narrowly missing my left cheek.
Me: OY! What did I do this time?
The Midnight Cat:You were thinking it again.
Me: What is this? The Midwich Cuckoos?
The Midnight Cat:No. I'm just that good.
Me: Well cut it out dammit!
The Midnight Cat:You asked for it. Now leave me alone, I’m trying to cogitate here.
Me: Oh no you don’t. Come on! Up with you!
The Midnight Cat: No.
Me: What do you mean, “No”?
The Midnight Cat: I’m actually really quite busy here. Can we discuss this in the morning please?
Shortly after she was put outside.
The video is one I took the other night of her playing with a twist tie. I wish my life was such that I got so much joy from a simple piece of plastic-coated wire.
5 comments ... click here to comment:
She's so damn cute! I always figured conversations with a cat would be much like that. They tend not to talk to me though, they just give me 'the eye' and for some strange reason I have a sudden compulsion to feed them or shower them with attention.
you do know that if you torment cats they will smack you back dont you LOL!
cute cat by the way... b ut was that Janeks foot or yours?
Kezza, I'm just like you ... Cats can (and do) walk all over me and they know it.
Drew, My hand, Janek's foot... and I wasn't tormenting her, I was talking to her and she hit me out of the blue for no apparent reason!
sure you weren't tormenting the cat!
Are you feeding her twistie ties? :P We have to discuss this little kitty's eating habits, first salted preserved meats and now plastic coated metal? *lol*
Get the girl some catnip. That'll make for a fun night ;)
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