Mystery solved

The toaster has returned. The Guyanan, The Optimist and I were all fairly certain we knew where it was: in the Space Cadet’s bedroom. And sure enough, we were right. I caught him on the way out the other night…

Me: Hey Space Cadet, do you know where the toaster has got to?
SC: Yeh, man, it’s in my bedroom.
Me: Oh, ok. Um, you know it’s my toaster right?
SC: Oh sorry man, I thought it was, like, the house’s toaster or something.
Me: Nup, it’s my toaster.
SC: Oh ok, do you need it now, man? It’s just I’ve gotta go somewhere.
Me: No, not right now. Just put it back when you get home so I can use it in the morning for breakfast.
SC: Ok cool, man, sorry about that.

I relayed this conversation to The Guyanan and The Optimist. When I told them that The Space Cadet was under the impression that it was common property they were dumbfounded that The Space Cadet was under the impression that taking the common property toaster into your bedroom is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. The Optimist asked me what happened to my butter. I forgot to ask him, to be honest, because I too was dumbfounded at The Space Cadet’s logic.

He was in the kitchen, cooking his dinner (though thankfully it was not baked beans) and I asked him what happened to my butter. He replied “Oh I pinched it”. Right. The carton was at least three quarters full. He had asked me if he could have a little to fry some bacon and I said to help himself, but I certainly didn’t mean to help himself to that extent. He offered me some of his margarine but I declined and explained the butter he’d “pinched” from me was special lactose-free margarine, not any old margarine. He apologised and offered to buy me some the next day. Three days later and I am yet to see it.

Mystery solved.