You say you just want to feel...

You say you just want to feel
the way you used to feel
the way you should feel.

Man, I feel like shit today. My back is in a full blown analgesic-resistant revolt, my stomach is drowning in pain killers, and I can’t sleep or get comfortable.

Last night was spent tossing and turning, pill popping, and clock watching. I woke every two hours or so. I hugged my teddy bear tightly and prayed all night. And in the morning I woke, unrefreshed, still pained, exhausted and alone.

There is more to life than this. I just want to feel the way I used to feel, the way I should feel.

Is that too much to ask?