Pop died early this morning in ward 11 of the aged care department at Concord Hospital amid the smell of shit and the cold hollow corridors. It is such an unjust end for such a brilliant man.
It’s been a year now since you were hear now
And I’ve been trying to heal inside
Dedications have all been placed
And I see your resemblance in my face
And on your birthday I said an extra wish for you
And I’ve been trying to heal inside
Dedications have all been placed
And I see your resemblance in my face
And on your birthday I said an extra wish for you
It’s been one year since I wrote those words. Today came and went like any other: I went to morning Mass, which was offered for Pop, then came home and had breakfast before cleaning my bedroom, culling my book collection in the process, and then I cooked dinner, ate. Nothing special happened. If anything, today was sublime for its banality. It wasn’t as hard as I expected.
What ravages of spirit conjured this tempestuous rage?
Created you a monster; broken by the rule of love.
Oh, and fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do.
But I have the sense to recognise that I don’t know how to let you go.
Created you a monster; broken by the rule of love.
Oh, and fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do.
But I have the sense to recognise that I don’t know how to let you go.
There was a violent thunderstorm today. It was a bit of a catharsis to sit outside and just watch the rain fall on the ground, watching the complex system of rivers, ponds and tributaries form on the driveway. I saw the lightening flash majestically across the sky and jumped at the sound of thunder.
Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul.
I’m ever swiftly moving; trying to escape this desire.
Oh, the yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do.
And I have the sense to recognise that I don’t know how to let you go.
I don’t know how to let you go.
I’m ever swiftly moving; trying to escape this desire.
Oh, the yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do.
And I have the sense to recognise that I don’t know how to let you go.
I don’t know how to let you go.
Maybe my problem is that I don’t want to let go, not so much not knowing how to?
1 comments ... click here to comment:
My Grandpa passed away when I was 14. For a time he lived with us, and always lived nearby from when I was about 6 until his passing. I was very close to him.
I always felt his presence keenly from time to time until I was in my early 20's. When you say "I don't want to let go", I can empathise with you, a lot!
Maybe it's worth considering that you don't need to let go of him just yet. I know for me, I got a lot of comfort from the feeling of his presence, like a hand on my shoulder saying "It's OK, I'm here for as long as you need me".
I hope that makes sense.
I've been lurking around here for a long time now (certainly well before you're Pop passed away), but it's been a long time since I've posted a comment (there were only a couple anyway). I guess I'd also just like to say thanks for everything you've shared.
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