Once upon a midnight dreary

Yesterday was a strange day. In fact strange doesn’t quite cover it. Because it was so strange, and for the most part quite unpleasant, I thought I’d share it to show you just how nasty these illnesses can be. The reason I want to do this is because so many people see the name chronic fatigue syndrome and think that it’s a simple little thing, easily compartmentalised as “being kinda tired; get over it and live”, when in reality it’s really quite serious at times. Ditto fibromyalgia: “so your legs hurt a little, you’ll live”. So this was my day yesterday.

3/11/07 12am – 1am.
Just going to bed from the day before, after having taken all my meds: maintenance drugs, pain killers, and something to help me sleep. I felt a strange pain in my right upper thigh. I had been hoping that the sleep aid would kick in quick enough that it wouldn’t bother me, but when lying on my back it started throbbing. I got up and made a hot water bottle, placed it between my legs and lay on my side, trying to sleep. I hate sleeping on my side; I always wake up exhausted from the exertion it takes to maintain that posture. I always sleep on my back.

3/11/07 1am – 2am.
The trying to sleep continued, more pain killers were taken, and I fell asleep around 2am with the hot water bottle between my legs, the eiderdown thrown off to the side because of the heat.

3/11/07 2am – 11am.
Slept.

3/11/07 11am – 12pm.
My alarm went off at 11, quite loudly, but I slept through it.

3/11/07 2pm – 3pm.
I woke somewhere around 2pm, after twelve hours’ sleep, got up and dressed. I felt great for about half an hour before being engulfed by fatigue. I was chatting on MSN briefly but soon had to close the computer; I couldn’t sit up or walk, so I just lay back down in bed and dozed.

3/11/07 3pm – 6pm.
I dozed on and off, wondering why my thigh was hurting so. I took more pain killers. It’s a new kind of pain, quite pointed and site-specific as opposed to the more generalised pain I usually experience in my legs which, while neural (ie nerve pain, sharp and pointy), radiates and covers a lot of area. This was different. If I lay on my back it hurt the most so I lay on my side—which, as I said, I hate doing—with a pillow between my legs, rotating every half hour as the pain came and went. I felt like a rotisserie chicken.

3/11/07 6pm – 7pm.
Dad went out and got Chinese take-out for dinner. I went to the kitchen to dish up my dinner but had to sit down quickly because I was suddenly engulfed by nausea (from the pain killers on an empty stomach no doubt). Dad dished it up for me and I listlessly ate, while watching The phantom menace, without really paying attention, because it was on TV not because I actually had any interest in the film.

3/11/07 7pm – 12am.
The fatigue that started at around 2.30 intensified, I took more pain killers and went to bed. A pearler of a storm was whipping itself into a frenzy outside as I lay in bed, trying to get comfortable by rotating every half an hour or so amid muscle spasms and the strange pain in my thigh. I love thunder storms, I love the power, the spectacular light shows and the noise. There’s something oddly comforting about being in a warm bed while nature lets loose outside my window. I fell asleep around 9pm, I think.

4/11/07 12am – 5am.
I woke up at about 12 to a sleeping house. I turned on my computer, checked emails and the like, and then tried to sleep again. I realised I hadn’t taken my morning meds (which may have explained the feeling of crappiness to some extent) so I took the night dose but still couldn’t get settled. After a while I gave up on trying to sleep and turned on the computer to do some research on subject choice for next year, finally falling asleep at about five.

4/11/07 5am – 11am.
Today, the alarm woke me up. Mum came in soon after to say goodbye as they’re off to my uncle’s birthday lunch today. I’m staying home to study. The pain in my thigh remains but the crippling fatigue seems to have abated, disappearing like a strange blip on the radar.

Strange huh?