My life, up to the minute

Sooo many things to write about. The problem with me is having the time to blog and the motivation to blog. They happen often, but rarely at the same time. So here we are, playing catch up.

On Friday night I ventured forth Sydney-way to a cocktail party at Gus and Adz’s place in honour of their American guest, Jon. I met many great people (most of whose names have been instantly forgotten, unfortunately) and I was so disciplined that I didn’t drink more than a single drop of alcohol, which is to say I had a teensy tiny drink that is barely worth mentioning. This was a feat slightly muted by the fact that I smoked a lot, however smoking isn’t mind altering and therefore much less reprehensible in my book. It was a great night despite the massive shockwaves of pain that hit me at around 3 am for no apparent reason; I’m talking the kind of pain where it hurt everywhere on my body when I lay still, and hurt even more when I moved. Consequently, I had very little sleep and felt like rat shit the next day, but it was totally worth it for a good night with good friends.

Saturday and Sunday are now but a blur in the windmills of my memory, days in which I attempted (with varying success) to tie up a few loose ends of homework. I subsisted in a drug-fucked haze. Let’s leave it at that.

On Sunday I did, however, take the next step in The Plan™, adding my “step-cousin” (for want of a better description) to my facebook friends list. All of my cousins (except Rick of course, who I can’t stand, and who can’t stand me) already know I’m gay and now, after I sent her a facebook message, so does she. This means it will soon spread around the Family-at-Large, who, I am given to understand, have been discussing the matter with some interest for some time now. I realise it’s not the best way to do it, but frankly I’m over it, suddenly my being gay is (at least in the sense of coming out constantly) no big deal, so I just want it over and done with; it’s a quite liberating feeling.

Monday saw a trip to uni and lunch with my cousin Bee in the city. It was a beautiful day, 25 degrees—spring is totally on the way and I can’t wait for it! In the cold my legs really ache so I get excited every year when things begin to heat up. And then today, at about 5 pm, I went outside for a smoke and I could smell spring, the sweet fragrance of new birth was everywhere. But don’t think that the irony of my going outside for the express purpose of smoking is lost on me.

This afternoon I told Mum, briefly, that I had added the “step-cousin” to facebook and what that meant in the larger scheme of things. She didn’t quite understand why I was telling her, but I just said that she will probably get a call from Grandma when she returns from overseas, so to be prepared. We were driving to pick up Sister at the time, and she said I had better tell her. I asked if Sister had said anything to them about “it” since her return from the course three months ago. She hadn’t. On the way home from the course, she was upset that I had told her over the phone, in a way that she couldn’t really answer back to. She also apparently remembered the “rotten things she’d said” to me (Mum’s words, not mine) and was upset about that too. So it remains a big rainbow elephant hovering over us constantly. We were driving back home after having picked her up and Mum said “well go on then, tell her”. I told her the situation. She asked if I should not tell my grandparents in person. I said I can’t, that the whole sit down, I have something to tell you situations are too draining and rarely end well. “You don’t have to tell me that” she said. Ouch. Time will tell I guess.

And that, my friends, is my life, up to the minute.