Pissing contest

The lady from the parcel post came this morning. She's a short lady, maybe 60, with short cropped grey hair, who always seems to wear the same thing: light blue shorts and a navy sleeveless top.

When she comes she rings the bell, knocks twice on the door, and then starts walking back to her truck -- all in one graceful, fluid movement. It shits me up the wall. How she expects people to get to the door in a split second is quite beyond me.

Not surprisingly, this morning she did exactly the same thing. I was asleep when she came, so when I heard the bell, quickly followed by the familiar double-knock, I leaped out of bed, quickly pulled on some shorts, and made for the front door. By the time I got there, I could see her standing by her van, driver's door open, filling out a "sorry we missed you" card. Luckily the door was being co-operative and allowed me, in its wisdom, to open it without having to find a key (which was, naturally, back in my bedroom and would have cost me crucial seconds of hunting). I walked up behind her and called out "hello" but she didn't hear me. I didn't want to shout at the poor woman (as much as I would love to give her a piece of my mind!) so I said again, by now behind her, "hello?". She jumped. "Oh, you frightened me!"

She got out her little handheld computer and scanned the bar code on the parcel, asked my name, and handed it to me to sign for the article. "Did I get you out of bed?" she asked. "Yes," I said, "but don't worry, it's about time I got up anyway." It was 11am. "Oh, you're lucky," she cooed, "I got up at a quarter to three this morning!" She gave me the parcel and got into her van and started to drive off.

Walking back into the house, I thought "What is this? A pissing contest? I got up earlier than you so I'm better than you are!"

I hate to be so blatantly and sweepingly stereotypical (but hey, is there any other way to do it?) but what is it with older people and getting up early? Pop is 92 and gets up at around 9am. This is only because he has been very unwell lately, otherwise it would be more like 8. My other grandparents, both in their mid-seventies, also get up with the sun. I don't understand it. Not that it's any of my business really; if they want to get up at that ungodly hour then that's their trauma, not mine. Who am I to judge? What shits me is when I am looked down on simply because I choose to get up at 11am. I work, I work into the night; it's not like I am wasting time by getting up late, I'm merely shifting my day forward a few hours. So why all the judging?