Parallel universe

Sometimes I think that, perhaps, my town is in fact on a different metaphysical plane than the rest of the country.

It's difficult to classify my town or, to be more specific, the nearest "biggish town" to my place. I use the term "town" because it is not a part of the Greater Metropolitan Area of Sydney. To confuse things further, it has all the things that a typical biggish town should have: two pubs, a post offices, two (small) supermarkets, two video stores, one library, two bookshops (one retail, the other second-hand), a TAB office, one newsagent, a train station, two chemists, and three "discount shops" (you know the kind - full of useless crap that no one actually needs, all at bargain prices). We even have a stationary shop and a hand-full of clothing stores. We seem to have a disproportionate number of take-away stores, there being 12 on the main street alone.

The other day, Dad and I went to town with a simple mission: to buy a laser pointer.

We started, naturally, at the stationary shop. They said to try the post office. The post office said to try the gadget shop opposite the station or the computer place. The guy in the computer place didn't know what we were talking about, but once it was explained suggested the gadget shop. The guy in the gadget shop said to try one of the discount shops. The first discount shop (the one next to Dominos, for those who know the area) said to try the other discount shops, that they used to have them but they had to send them back because they were faulty. The next discount shop (next to the chemist) said much the same thing. The newsagent didn't know where to get one in town and suggested going to the nearest large town, down the mountain, and to try our luck there. The last discount shop (near the bookshop) also said that they had nothing, but suggested trying the stationers.

By this point, the two of us were sick of running around. We hadn't really planned our expedition out, obviously, and as such were going from one side of town to the other, rather than walking down one side of the main street and back up the other.

At the last discount shop, I finally snapped at the poor girl (who was only 16 at the most) behind the counter.

Me: You don't have any laser pointers?
Girl: No, sorry, you could try the stationers.
Me: Why not?
Girl: Pardon?
Me: I mean why don't you have any?
Girl: I'm sorry sir, I don't know.
Me: Where are we?
Girl: (looking increasingly confused) Pardon?
Me: I mean are we in (town)?
Girl: (bewildered) Umm, yes.
Me: This isn't some weird parallel universe is it? One where laser pointers just don't exist.
Girl: (silence)
Me: Because we've been up and down Main Street and, while they may exist elsewhere, they certainly don't exist here!
Girl: I'm sorry, Sir, but ...
Me: Oh I know it's not your fault (relieved look on Girl's face), it's just so frustrating to learn that the entire town seems to have been swallowed up into a giant black hole where laser pointers simply cease to exist.
Girl: Um... yeah... (nervous laugh)

And with that we left the shop, went home, and bought one on eBay.