The big questions

When did businesses put profit margins before providing their customers with superior products and/or services? Who was it that decided that olives were no longer to be a staple of the supreme pizza? When did thin crust pizzas become standard?

These questions have been plaguing my mind tonight.

I ordered a pizza tonight. It was a throroughly unfulfilling pizza. When ordering the pizza I had the familiar clash with the operator, this time a girl who was probably only 15.

Me: Hi, I'd like to order a pick-up thanks.
Girl: Ok sir, how many pizzas would you like to order?
Me: One large pizza thanks, and I have a voucher for $5,95.
Girl: Ok sir, and what would you like on your pizza?
Me: I'd like a large supreme with olives, but no cheese.
Girl: A large supreme with olives but no cheese, that will be $7,95 and should be ready for pick up in 15 to 20 minutes.
Me: $7,95? I have a voucher for $5,95 ...
Girl: Yes sir, but the extra olives have a $2 surcharge.
Me: Oh, I see. Well can I get a discount for the cheese then please?
Girl: Um, sir, we don't really give discounts for that.
Me: Well, usually I wouldn't worry about it, but if your company is going to be so picky about it and charge me $2 for a handfull of olives, then I'm going to be picky and charge you for a handfull of cheese.
Girl: Uh, ok sir, I'll just check with my manager.
Me: That's fine, I can wait.
Girl: Ok sir, that will be $5,95.
Me: Excellent, thanks very much.
Girl: Have a nice night.

This is a conversation I have every time I order pizza. This particular pizza parlour, one of the larger chains in Australia, stores customer's details on their computer, so I'm surprised that they don't have a little note on my account saying "don't argue with this guy, give him the discount for the cheese".

I had forgotten to ask for thick crust so I was stuck with a piece of glorified pita-bread with meat and veg on it, the topping tumbling off when I picked up the piece of limp pizza with no cheese to secure it. I was sitting in the car feeling thoroughly deflated and I started to think about these big questions.

Why are pizza chains so stingy? Why do they charge nearly twice as much for delivered pizzas? Why do you have to pay 10c for extra sauce on pies and wasabi for sushi?

What is this world coming to?