Absolute brilliance

This morning I was dragged from bed kicking and screaming by the alarm clock. Well not quite, but why I insist on tuning in to Triple-J so early in the morning is beyond me. I was rudely ripped from dreaming at 8,30 am by some song I can't remember and don't like. I can hear you all sympathising from here.

The reason for my uncharacteristically early rising was a doctor appointment at 9,00. It's been a month since my last appointment. The last one was the one in which Doc Knows-His-Shit prescribed me a new drug for the pain, the drug that left me strung out for 2 or 3 days. True to form, Dr KHS did indeed know what he was doing; this new drug has been a godsend of the most praiseworthy proportions. Kinda. Not quite. Let me explain ...

The problem with praising things (or people for that matter) as godsends or any other absolute high word of praise is that if something (or someone) better comes along then the whole scale is reset according to the praiseworthiness of the new thing. So what used to be absolutely brilliant becomes less than absolutely brilliant.

But I digress.

The drug works by blocking certain nerve signals in the brain, thus reducing (or hopefully eradicating) pain. One of the great mysteries of fibromyalgia and ME/CFS is that although something is clearly wrong with my body -- it's not normal for a 22 year old to be in this much pain or to feel the way I do -- all tests come back normal and there isn't really anything detectable wrong. What I'm saying is that the exact source of pain is unknown since for all intents and purposes my legs are perfectly normal; yet the pain still exists. So using this form of drug therapy is the best way to go -- blocking the pain signals since we don't know the source of the pain. If on the other hand we found the source of the pain, a tumour or something like that, the best course of action would be to remove the source. But we can't, since there isn't anything to correct or remove.

After the first few days of being strung out, the pain disappeared almost completely as the drug took hold of my brain. At this point I hailed it as being absolutely brilliant. After a week of my system getting used to it, however, its affects lessened slightly (or perhaps the pain "broke through" it) and while the pain was not as bad, or as constant, it was still there. At this point, it became less than absolutely brilliant. The last few days the pain came back, almost as strong as ever, so it definitely wasn't the godsend I had at first presumed. At least not at this dosage.

Jumping back to my day, I arrived at the doctor's surgery slightly after 9,00 and took my seat in the waiting room. It's the same surgery I've attended ever since before I was born; Dr KHS did Mum's OBGYN checkups while she was pregnant with me. Today, however, Dr KHS is holidaying in Spain so I saw a newbie doctor. I call him Dr Mouse because he doesn't seem to walk but rather scurries everywhere he goes. It would be cute if it wasn't so infuriating. I'm not sure if he's a fully qualified GP or doing an intern sort of thing, but he seems to be licensed enough to write prescriptions so that's good enough for me.

I sat down with Dr Mouse and explained the situation: "Dr KHS prescribed me this drug and it's working, the pain is reduced and not as constant but still not completely gone." He consulted his PDA (which I have to admit is very disconcerting) and said that I could go up to the next dose -- take two a day rather than one -- and come back in a month to get a new script if it's all working, since this drug has to be stepped up slowly. I nodded, not completely happy with the fact I had to come back a month later but still glad to have found this potentially absolutely brilliant drug, and took the piece of paper. He also commented on how expensive this particular drug is, but I told him it didn't matter as the private health insurance will pick up the tab. I think what annoys me about Dr M is that I've been sick with this since 1999 so I'm an old hand at doctor's visits, whereas he appears to be new to the art of doctoring. Apart from that our personalities clash a little: he's not very personable and doesn't seem very approachable. Maybe he's nervous? Maybe I should cut the poor guy some slack?

I have another appointment in 2 weeks to see Dr KHS and hopefully get a proper prescription that lasts longer than a month. Despite being (at this point at least) less than absolutely brilliant, I'm confident this is going to help once I find the right dose.

Gotta write that bloody essay now.