I might contradict myself, but at least I don't contradict myself

I've known for quite some time that life is just a long series of contradictions and dichotomies. Not the least of these is the fact that I'm a grown-up but I often feel or act like a kid. Let's not forget the fact that I am an adult and yet I refer to myself using such a childish description as "grown-up." Everything I do, say and think seems to reflect this contradictory adult/child or adult/teen dichotomy.

My dad has gone overseas to a conference, so I am now, for all intents and purposes, the man of the house. I am not a misogynist... I haven't taken on this mantel of Official Man Of The House myself, but rather it has been put upon me by a mother and sister who insist I take out the rubbish and kill all the spiders and bugs unfortunate enough to cross their paths. It doesn't get much more grown-up than being the designated Bug-Killer-And-Rubbish-Taker-Outerer, but it's undermined by the fact that I use the excuse of emptying bins to sneak a smoke when no one is looking, and then lie about it when questioned by sister.

Today Liz and I went to town and (to quote the MSN conversation where the plan was hatched) we "did lunch like grownups do." The adultity of this act was only slightly diminished by the fact that we were both chucking sickies at the time. Liz did a very adult and unselfish thing by driving 10km to pick me up and then backtrack 7km to town. The fact that she used her parents' car to avoid paying for the petrol slightly less so. We did the mature thing and chose to avoid the likes of Michel's Patisserie and its over-processed food in lieu of something a little more healthy. We ordered two very adult meals: Liz had the vegetarian foccacia with salad and I had the gourmet beef burger with chips (I had to dig through the chips to get to the burger there were so many). Then we ordered milkshakes for drinks.

Even in writing this post I've been struck by the dichotomy. I started out lying in bed, watching Home and Away (teenish), eating gobstoppers (childish). I was, however, eating the yellow gobstoppers (which is a pretty adultesque thing to do, considering I usually either eat them first to get them out of the way or throw them out) and listening to Sarah McLachlan in the adbreaks. After dinner (which I cooked - adult), I had terrible indigestion. I can't take mylanta or quickeze as they contain ingredients which counteract my meds, so I have to drink a cup of water with a teaspoon of bi-card soda in it. It tastes foul. I consider myself very grown-up indeed for drinking this disgusting concoction. Then I sit up in bed, burping, trying to make tunes out of it. Doesn't get more childish than that, folks.

I think the clincher is the fact that I'm willing to see a movie that looks like it has no plot, average acting and generally very little to offer except that Jesse Metcalfe is in it and is likely to have his top off a good deal of the time.

That, and my bedroom floor.