Harry Potter and the goblet of crap

Last night I watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on DVD. It seems that the choice to watch half the television or movies I watch is fueled by the hotness (or perceived hotness) of the guys in it. The other half is because I actually think the movie will be interesting, irrespective of the potential hotness factor involved. The Goblet of Fire fell (past tense) into the last category. (Although I do admit that I think Harry is kinda cute, in a way-too-young-for-me kinda way. I only admit this publicly because I asked Liz if it was wrong to think that, and since she reads this blog there's a chance she'd comment saying "yeh right you don't think any of the boys in that movie are hot" and that would be much more embarrassing than if I mention it myself).

Anyway. Moving on. What a disappointment that movie was. I've read all the Harry Potter books, more than once, I even own two of them in Spanish. I love the stories, the twists, the characters, the magical world that Rowling created with its pensieves, floo network and quidditch.

The film had no saving grace. They condensed an excellent story into two and a half hours of mediocre-at-best movie. They sacrificed important subplots so they could wank off with their special effects in the scenes with dragons, mermaids, magic ferrets and the like. From what I can remember (and you know how crappy my memory is), the following is missing from the film: the Dursleys; the entire quidditch match; the whole thing with the house-elves; the Leprechaun's gold; the sorting hat; the Creevy brothers; the explanation of Veelas; Sirius's appearance in the fireplace (except one pisspoor effort where they had his face appear in the ashes, likely to avoid paying the actor to actually do it); Mad-Eye Moody's classes (they only showed one) and how he taught Harry to resist the Imperius curse; any other classes of any kind including Divination and Transfiguration which are in the books heaps; and the transfiguration of Rita Skeeter and all the rubbish she prints in the daily prophet.

And then there was the acting (and I use the term very loosely). It seems that all the stars can't quite find that happy medium between under-acting and over-acting. Award winning stuff! Draco Malfoy brought the role of token evil-little-shit to life with his brilliant rendition of sarcastic lines said in a bitter mocking voice while Hermione emoted like a mad woman in just about every scene and Harry seemed not to emote at all. I took a few photos of some of the funnier facial expressions to show you. I think my favourite moment was in the last scene where Hermione "My eyebrows have a life of their own" Granger asks Harry "Don't worry I'll protect you" Potter if he thinks everything will change. He looks at her intently, arches his eyebrows and says in a deadpan voice "yes."