Random ramblings #4

Well wouldn't you know it? I was all geared up to write something down about my comings and goings this weekend... and I've completely run out of steam.

I need a smoke. But my family are home. Fuck.

Anyway, steamy or steamless, let's press on shall we? On Friday afternoon I was picked up by Liz & Carbi and we headed to the local shops. Our mission was to buy a slab of softdrink for James (for when he has low blood sugar, to bring it back up again). We left the supermarket with 1 slab of softdrink, 3 bottles of coke, 1 bottle of diet coke (disgusting stuff, for James), 1 bag of salt and vinegar chips, 1 bag of corn chips, 1 jar of tomato salsa, 2 frozen cokes (one each) and 3 noodle boxes for lunch.

That's just how we tend to do things.

We arrived home to a very hungry James. Our next mission was to update a website Liz has been asked to take care of. So I was enlisted, CDs with various programs under my arm, to help her out and show her the proverbial ropes. So we bunkered down in the lounge room: fire alight, chips in bowls, coke in cups, bums on lounges, Gilmore Girls on the telle, coke in cups, laptop on laps. Carbi on the floor, chewing my socks. This may conjure a cute image in your collective mind's eye, and I don't deny it was incredibly cute, but it was really kinda annoying. Especially since the said socks were on my feet at the time. We were pleased he was in a playful mood considering how sick he's been lately, but really, there's a time and a place... sheesh... So anyway he continued trying to eat my toes, through my socks, despite a barrage of "NO!"s and stamping of feet. Mostly Liz's stompy-footing because my reaction time is pretty pitiful. So pitiful that she realised my toes were being nibbled on before I did.

We worked into the night. I knew it was time for bed when, at 3 am, I pissed myself laughing at a story that while funny, isn't that funny. To make matters worse, I was the one telling the story. It was inspired by an episode of the Gilmore Girls, where Lorelei pretends she likes fishing to go on a date with this guy. "Hey this reminds reminds me of my uncle. He has those waders that Lorelei's wearing, kinda like a set of overalls with gumboots attached. Anyway he was wading in them and he went too far out and they filled completely with water." Yes, my friends, that is it. I laughed uncontrollably and very loudly for quite some time. I believe I even snorted a few times.

I was woken at approximately 10,55 am by my stomach. It was angry at me for the cheese I had eaten the night before. In fact, we often have these stand-offs in the morning. They often go a little something like this:

Stomach: Wake up!
Me: Piss off
Stomach: Nup, you can't get me to go away that easily. WAKE UP!
Me: What!?
Stomach: I need to go to the potty. I need to go a number two.
Me: No you don't. Hold it. I'm trying to sleep here.
Stomach: Mate it's your own fault for eating the {insert bad food here, usually Nutella from the jar right before bed} last night.
Me: But the floors fucking freezing.
Stomach: Put some socks on, idiot.
Me: Look just hold it will you? I want to sleep. I'll go later.
Stomach: Dude, don't make me force you.
Me: Go on then.
(cramps)
Me: They'll pass, they'll pass.
(pressure)
Me: Ok ok, I'll go.
Stomach: You realise you could have gone twice now in the time it took you to fight me?
Me: Yeh yeh, who asked you?

I spent the rest of the day with Liz, James & Carbi working on small changes on the website and helping tidy up the house since Liz's parents were to return that afternoon from a week's holiday. I'm now lying in bed listening to two of the most talented comic-geniuses (or is that genii), Lano and Woodley.

Here's deep thoughts for you:

What does a snake do when it needs to lie down?

I might contradict myself, but at least I don't contradict myself.