The future

I've been thinking a lot of "the future" lately. It's not something I have done often in the past because I have a serious Peter Pan Complex. If I had my way, I'd never grow up. I'd stay 22 forever. But I would be independent, just like my role model Pete is.

There's two version of "the future" in my head at the moment. The idealistic one and the realistic one. They are similar with one major defining difference: in the idealistic version I move out of my parent's place and get my own little place somewhere in Sydney: Surry Hills or Darlinghurst or something quaint like that while I study part-time at university. Living in Sydney means that I am closer to the university, which in turn means that I can cope much better because there won't be as much tiring traveling involved.

However it's becoming increasingly apparent that if I ever want to move out of my parent's home, I'm going to need one or more of the following:

• A job
• A big lottery win
• A pension
  
• A scholarship
• A sugar-daddy.

Each has its own list of pros and cons...

A job
Pros: Steady money every week; I'd be independent.
Cons: to earn any significant amount, I'd have to work like 2-3 days a week minimum. This would leave little energy for study or anything else. If I get any sicker and can't continue working then the bills would still need to be paid and I would be, in a word, fucked.

A big lottery win
Pros: No effort whatsoever, except buying the actual ticket and cashing the cheque.
Cons: Have to resist the urge to spend it all at once. Buying the winning ticket is never as easy as they make it out on the ads. According to this website I have a 1 in 8,145,000 chance of winning the lottery (as compared to 1 in 2,000,000 chance of being struck by lightening). Can't hurt to buy the odd ticket, but I'm not holding my breath.

A pension
Pros: Steady money with no job attached; with pension card comes discounts on transport etc.
Cons: I will have to continue proving myself to keep getting the payments. To get a disability support pension (DSP), at my age, with my medical background and with my parents income (we definitely aren't "poor" but we're not in a position to support two households either) is difficult to say the least. Many of the "activity assessors" employed by Centrelink, the government's social security office, either don't see ME/CFS as a valid illness, or they think you can do much more than you actually can. My best shot at qualifying for the DSP is to actually be moved out when I apply... go figure.

A scholarship
Pros: Depending on the scholarship, either a lump sum or recurring payments with no job attached.
Cons: Out of 1200 odd scholarships offered by my university, I only qualify for one. It appears they only offer financial assistance to first-year applicants if they are really brainy (with a UAI of over 99.9) or from a disadvantaged background. The one I do qualify for is for students with disabilities. So I'm going to apply but its possible I won't qualify for the same reasons as the pension: in their estimation I'm not sick enough, or my parents earn too much.

A sugar-daddy
Pros: It'd be just like Justin and Brian from Queer as Folk.
Cons:



Conclusion: If anyone knows of a good sugar-daddy... give me his number.